


burn, break, love

by samugiiri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Miya Atsumu is Bad at Feelings, POV Alternating, Pining Miya Atsumu, Pining Sakusa Kiyoomi, Post-Time Skip, Pre-Time Skip, Sad Miya Atsumu, Slow Burn, Soft Sakusa Kiyoomi, Temporarily Unrequited Love, There's fluff I promise, Unrequited Love, sad sakusa kiyoomi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29556735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samugiiri/pseuds/samugiiri
Summary: It wasn’t easy, no, not at all. But, who said love was supposed to be easy? Who said loving someone was easy? Because whoever says that—is wrong.Atsumu and Kiyoomi takes years before they find themselves in each other's arms.This is a story of how two idiots go from friends to lovers in the span of many years. From how they met, to when their feelings first manifested, to one accepting and the other denying, to a whole process of suffering, but finally finding themselves loving each other.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 12





	burn, break, love

**Author's Note:**

> lolol so this was supposed to be a oneshot but then it was taking me too long to write and i wanted y'all to at least have a part of the story,, so i split it into 3 parts.
> 
> burn is basically just a long ass prologue tbh HAHA. this is like really heavy angst, but i promise they'll get their happy ending.
> 
> uhm the hanahaki disease in this fic is a bit different from what's normally written btw.
> 
> anyways, enjoy!!

They went through so many detours and roads, only for it to make it to one path that they walk together on. All the pain, tears, enduring was worth it. If the years of heartbreak and ignorance was needed to lead each other back into each other’s arms, then that was fine.

Kiyoomi had finally caught Atsumu, and Atsumu had finally looked back at Kiyoomi. 

Together, _they smile._

Together, _they live._

Together, _they love._

It wasn’t easy, no, not at all. But, who said love was supposed to be easy? Who said loving someone was easy? Because whoever says that— _is wrong._

If love was easy, then there wouldn’t be much to it. It’s meant to be tested to see how strong it is; to see how far two people would go for one another. With the challenges thrown at them, people will see whether the pain they have to go through is worth it for the one they love.

And when they _do_ see the worth, well— _that’s the greatest feeling._

Knowing that the person you love has seen the same worth you see in them? Knowing that in the end you get to be in each other’s arms? Knowing that they love you the same way you love them?

You can only relish in the feeling.

Kiyoomi and Atsumu found peace in one another, even if it took _too long._

All that matters now is that Atsumu belongs to Kiyoomi while Kiyoomi belongs to Atsumu.

And really, that’s all there is to it.

_It’s always been._

**Burn.**   
  
  


Hazel eyes first met emerald eyes in their first year of highschool. Their eyes met across the net and they were caught in a trance of some sorts. They just stared, not being able to pull their eyes away. 

It wasn’t until they heard the whistle, only _then_ did they pull away. Not knowing each other’s name, but their faces were engraved in their minds. It was as if the other’s face was tattooed in their head, a mark that was meant to last forever, _never giving them a chance to forget it._

Perhaps, they didn’t mind. Maybe it was okay, maybe even good that they won’t forget it. Their locked gazes were a key to a door, opening up a path to where they would entangle themselves in each other’s lives.

The fire that they saw in each other’s eyes ignited another fire in their soul. Blindly, they took a step through that door. 

Atsumu felt the burn at his first attempt in receiving Kiyoomi’s spike. Kiyoomi felt the burn as he watched Atsumu smirk and turned to look him in the eyes once more.

It only fueled their fires more— the need to play and defeat the other grew larger by each point. They were pulled into a space where it was just Atsumu and Kiyoomi. It was a game where they kept pushing each other to be stronger.

It wasn’t _just_ a volleyball match anymore. It was a match to prove themselves to the other. What are they even trying to prove? They honestly don’t know either, but they just felt the need to.

They were so lost into their own game that they didn’t realize it was the end already. The ball fell onto Inarizaki’s court, the last point of the match. The referee blows the whistle to signify the win of Itachiyama and the loss of Inarizaki.

When the teams went ahead to shake hands, they met eyes again. Still not knowing each other’s name, Atsumu just grinned at the spiker. 

“I’ll beat ya next time.” He said, a cocky lilt in his tone. 

“I’d like to see you try.” The spiker gave a grin of his own.

“Name’s Miya Atsumu, by the way.” They let go of the grip they had on each other as the setter gave his name. He was walking away when the other spoke up and replied, “Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

The blonde stood there in shock for a short second, not expecting to get a response. He recovered quickly, though, and threw a smile _that could blind Kiyoomi._

They walked away and followed their respective teams.

Both in their own heads, thinking about what just happened. Atsumu couldn’t hear his brother asking him what the hell happened, and didn't care either while Kiyoomi did the same on his side and ignored his cousin’s words. All Atsumu could think about was Sakusa Kiyoomi, spiker of Itachiyama that has black curly hair and two moles above his right eyebrow; and all Kiyoomi could think of was Miya Atsumu, setter of Inarizaki with a bad hair dye job and a confident, cocky smile.

_What was so intriguing about him, anyways?_ They both didn’t have an answer. They thought about it some more, but decided that they would just grow to be the other’s rival.

Atsumu looked back at Itachiyama’s side, staring at the back of the other boy’s jersey.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, yer so interesting.” He whispered under his breath.

  
  
  
  


The next time they meet is during their second year. They played against each other in the finals of Interhigh, ending with Itachiyama as the winner. 

They didn’t talk much, just one sentence uttered out from one another. _A challenge._

_“Thought you said you were gonna beat me, Miya?”_

_“Oh shut yer trap, Sakusa.”_

The first time they actually had the time to enjoy each other’s company was at the Youth Training Camp that was held in Tokyo’s Ajinomoto National Training Center. When they saw each other, Atsumu smirked while Kiyoomi scowled.

Really, in their eyes, they saw each other as _rivals._ In everyone else’s eyes, they saw something _more._ There was something between the blonde and raven, yet they couldn’t quite say what _exactly_ it was. Their rivalry, or _bond_ you could say, was a force to be reckoned with.

Gravity pulled the two together, and for the first time since their initial meeting, they _actually_ had a _real_ conversation, it wasn’t just a short teasing challenge between matches or greetings. It may have been mostly about volleyball, but who cares? They talked and volleyball is their passion anyways. It’s what brought them together in the first place.

They continued to talk in the small kitchen dining area that the training had, sipping on their mugs of tea. Time passed by so fast when they were with each other, it was like nothing but them existed.

_It always felt like that._

Looking at the clock that showed it was _1:35am_ in the morning, Kiyoomi took initiative to end their conversation so they could get some sleep before practice later in the day. He really didn’t want to, he actually enjoyed Atsumu’s presence, not that he’d admit it out loud.

So, he held his mug as he reluctantly stood up and sighed. “Thank you for the company, Miya. I’ll be going off to bed now. You should too.” Atsumu looked up from his mug and looked at the taller.

“Aw, Omi-kun liked my company! But, alright, I guess yer right. Hmm, but I think I’ll stay here fer a bit.” Kiyoomi frowned but let him be, it wasn’t his business. He waved goodnight and walked back to his room. 

He ignored the way his heart felt lighter.

  
  
  


By the end of the camp, Atsumu managed to convince Kiyoomi to exchange phone numbers. Honestly, he didn’t have to do much convincing, but the spiker didn’t want to give in so easily like another part of him wanted to.

Atsumu always texted him. He could text anytime, Kiyoomi had even received a message at 3am on a school day. However, unlike Miya, _he_ actually has a healthy and normal sleep schedule, so he only saw it hours later when he woke up.

He always wondered why the blonde was awake during the late, ungodly hours of the night (or morning, technically.) 

Atsumu managed to break Kiyoomi’s walls slowly that even the spiker didn’t notice. The setter walked into his life freely and carved his own spot into it.

The thing is, the raven didn’t mind it at all— _He let it happen, and he was fine with it._

Their rivalry and interest in each other developed into a new flame, a new friendship. It was something that none of them wanted to let go off.

They had somehow become each other’s pillars. When Inarizaki lost, Kiyoomi immediately left his spot from where he was watching to comfort his friend. _His best friend._

He calmed the blonde from his self-wallowing and pity. He even wiped away his tears with his jacket when he normally wouldn’t do that to anyone. Atsumu looked up from where his head was buried into Kiyoomi’s shoulder and started frantically apologizing for getting tears and snot on him.

Kiyoomi stared at him for a second, then let out a chuckle. He was smiling, _a mesmerizing and rare sight to see._

Atsumu looked at him and felt his heart beat a little quicker. It’s not everyday you see the spiker smile, heck it’s even rarer to hear him chuckle or laugh. But, all Atsumu could think was, _damn, he’s beautiful._

His smile was perfect in Atsumu’s eyes. He’d never seen anything better that could compare to it. Heck, the sound of his laughter sounded like the voice of an angel. He couldn’t help but smile as well, especially at the fact that _he’s_ the one that made him smile.

Their friendship only grew from there. It only kept stronger, along with their skills. It was amazing. They had a rival in a best friend. A challenge to improve and a place to find comfort in.

  
  
  


Days, weeks, and months passed by and they were graduating high school. They lived so far from each other (which Atsumu had complained about over video call), but they still wanted to meet up.

So, they talked about how Atsumu would go over to Tokyo for a few days and stay with Kiyoomi. The Miya parents were informed and agreed, delighted that Atsumu had a very good friend. Osamu had just told him to have fun and acted like he didn’t care. (But in reality, he did actually care. He’d rather go to hell than admit it though.)

By 2pm, Atsumu met Kiyoomi in the train station. When hazel eyes met emerald ones, the blonde bolted with his bag and hugged the raven. Kiyoomi flinched, not used to such actions and contact, but didn’t find himself recoiling. Atsumu widened his eyes in realization and was about to pull away when arms wrapped around him, embracing him.

“Omi?”

“Shut up and hug me.”

So, he did. Who was he to deny such an order? Sakusa Kiyoomi is hugging him and allowing him to hug him back. 

The warmth he felt made him melt into the taller’s arms. Kiyoomi allowed himself to bury his face into soft, blonde hair and smile fondly, hidden where Atsumu couldn’t see it.

Atsumu missed Kiyoomi and Kiyoomi missed Atsumu. There was something in the other that no one else could give them.

Kiyoomi brought Atsumu to his house which was quiet and empty. The setter was confused, where was his family? He had grown up with a loving family and was lucky to have one. The air in Kiyoomi’s house was dull and made him wonder, _did Kiyoomi not have the same luck?_

He settled in and laid the extra futon for himself. They decided to go out to a cafe that Atsumu had seen online and wanted to try. Kiyoomi let it happen as he wanted his best friend to enjoy his short time here.

In the cafe, they ordered and built up a conversation. However, Kiyoomi _did not_ expect Atsumu to suddenly change the topic and ask him where his family was.

He just stared at Atsumu, mouth slightly agape as he didn’t know what to say. He knew his family was absent in his life, but the way Atsumu asked and the face he was making while looking at him made everything crash down on him.

Before he knew it, there were tears rolling down his cheeks and he wiped furiously at them. He didn’t want to cry in front of Atsumu, especially not in public.

Atsumu watched as Kiyoomi’s tears fell and he slightly panicked. He didn’t know what to do, so he just did what he knew and held Kiyoomi’s hands while wiping his tears with the other.

He felt the spiker freeze and saw his breath hitch, Atsumu was about to stop when Kiyoomi relaxed and tugged on his sleeve to move beside him. Of course, he listened and went to sit beside him.

There in their little bubble, the younger of the two laid his head on the other’s shoulder and started talking about his life— more specifically, his family life.

  
  


Kiyoomi has almost always been alone. His parents were always busy with business. They never had time. Once he was born, he was left with his nanny in their big house. His siblings were much older than him and they were in college.

He actually did like their nanny. His nanny treated him like a mother would and he enjoyed it. His parents didn’t watch him grow up or even raise him. It was his nanny who did. 

He longed for that love. He was cared for, but he knew his nanny couldn’t fill in the hole in his heart that his absent family drilled. He grew and by the age of 13, he could take care of himself. With the luck that he had, his nanny had grown sick and was sent to the hospital.

He let her go so she could be with her family, the ones that she _really_ cared about. He was just her boss’s son, of course it was just temporary. His parents suggested getting another one, but he declined.

_He didn’t want another person to walk out of his life._

It was stupid for him to feel this way, he thought. He knows he wasn’t an expected child, he overheard them talking about him on the rare occasion that they were home. It was just supposed to be his parents and his older siblings, but he came in and messed it all.

His whole family left him behind, they walked out of his life. His nanny had a life of her own, so she too, walked out of his life.

He was alone.

He was _lonely_.

Somewhere along the way, Motoya became a constant in his life and supported him. He stayed by his side. _He was the only one that stayed._

Motoya’s parents helped care for him, but he felt bad. He felt like he was intruding whenever he stayed over at the Komori’s household. He watched as they smiled at each other and he could feel the love they had as a family.

_He wanted that. Yet, he could never really have it._

All the years of loneliness and abandon made him feel empty, hollow inside. He built up walls to protect himself from being vulnerable. The walls shielded him from people that would probably just end up hurting him in the end. He was tired of being hurt, so he stopped trying to find someone to fill the hole in his chest.

But just as he was beginning to get used to it all, _Miya Atsumu went waltzing into his life with no restraint._

Well, he didn’t tell Atsumu that, but he smiled at the thought anyways. When he lifted his head up from the blonde’s shoulder, he saw tears prickling at his eyes.

After listening, Atsumu’s heart breaks because Kiyoomi deserves the entire world. He deserves to be loved. He deserves to be happy. When he sees the spiker try his best to put up a faint smile after talking, he finally feels the tears falling from his eyes. 

All he could think was, _I want to be the one to give you that love._

He thinks about it again, the thought circling in his head, but then freezes. He should _not_ be thinking things like that about his best friend. He meant it platonically, right?

_His fast beating heart says otherwise._

The setter mentally scolds himself and tries his best to bury the developing thoughts and feelings deep within. Kiyoomi is his best friend and rival. _He can’t be anything more, or anything less._

He snaps out of his thoughts and reverie when he hears the other speak and looks up to meet his eyes.

“Why are _you_ crying?” Kiyoomi asks, snorting as the tears slowly fall on Atsumu’s cheeks. He wipes his eyes from drying tears then continues to look back up at the other and see that Atsumu has _freckles._

_Holy shit, that’s adorable,_ he thinks. A second passes and he slightly widens his eyes at a realization because when _the fuck_ did he start calling his best friend adorable. Then, his overthinking mind starts looking back at everything and realizes that he’s always noticed things about the other. All this time, he’d always been noticing.

He noticed the shift in Atsumu’s mood when they talked about his brother leaving volleyball. He noticed the sparkle in Atsumu’s eyes when he talked about his team. He’d noticed a lot of other things, but why is it only surprising him now?

Kiyoomi then looks back at the setter beside him and feels his heartbeat go quicker and beat a little louder. He's scared Atsumu can hear it.

Said person finally stops wiping at his tears and hugs Kiyoomi. “I feel bad for ya, Omi. I’ll be someone who’ll stay. I won’t ever leave ya.” He whispers and Kiyoomi goes _weak._

He lets more tears build and fall, continuing to embrace Atsumu in his arms. No one else matters except him and Atsumu. The man he met eyes with from across the net. The man who became his somewhat rival. The man who became his best friend.

_The man he might have a small crush on._

“Thank you, Tsumu.” He whispers, soft words only meant for the blonde.

_I think I might like you,_ he doesn’t say.

“Of course, Omi!” Atsumu lets go from the hug and Kiyoomi immediately misses the warmth and comfort of being in his arms.

“I’m here for ya always!” Atsumu grins widely and it’s so pretty that Kiyoomi wants to get his phone and snap a picture. 

He is definitely not experienced with feelings or any kind of the sort, but the flutter in his heart when he’s with Atsumu makes him happy.

Being with Atsumu makes him happy.

_Atsumu_ makes him happy.

They fall into another conversation, reminiscing their volleyball career in highschool when a name pops up and Kiyoomi feels a small sting on his heart.

Just when he was feeling good, too. 

Life really is out to get him.

“ _Hinata Shoyo,_ was pretty interestin’ ta me. I told him I wanted ta set for him, he’s someone I wanna talk to fer sure.” Atsumu says, completely clueless about Kiyoomi’s inner conflict. Kiyoomi could see the stars and fondness in his eyes when he talked about the Karasuno middle blocker.

He wondered if he’d ever be able to have Atsumu look at him like _that._

Of course, it wouldn’t be served on a silver platter for him. Kiyoomi was the best friend, and will probably only ever be seen as that. He scolds himself internally, _how naive of him._

How naive he was to think Atsumu could perhaps be crushing on him as well. His thoughts mute out whatever Atsumu was rambling on about Hinata for a bit, too busy pitying himself of his dumb feelings and dumb thoughts.

It’s just a small crush anyways, right? So, why does it hurt more than it should?

Still unaware of his best friend’s current dilemma, Atsumu continues to talk about Hinata and how he might’ve developed a small crush on the orange-haired spiker.

It was as if his conflict for developing feelings had disappeared, already buried somewhere he couldn’t reach. His infatuation for the small spiker took over and he felt adoration growing to something more.

The first thing Kiyoomi hears when he’s done pitying himself is, “I think I like him, Omi-kun.”

Somewhere in his heart, he hears it crack. But, what can he do? Once again he’s reminded that the hole that was drilled there will never be filled.

_He hoped too much again._

  
  


Atsumu didn’t know how he got him and his feelings entangled with one Hinata Shoyo, but he knew that he couldn’t wait to be by his side one day, as a setter, a friend, or perhaps even a lover.

During their match in the second year, Hinata’s presence was like a drug. The way he played volleyball, his determination. It was so addicting that he couldn’t help but keep looking at him.

Don’t even get him started on _his smile._

His smile is so bright and beautiful, it’s unfair. He wants to set for him, he wants to hug him, he wants to _hold_ him. Sure, he wanted to beat them, but he really does want Hinata to be his spiker. Maybe even _his_ in general.

Yet, even when his eyes were glued to the tangerine, he could also see the looks that he gave his setter, Kageyama Tobio.

Were they together? It didn’t seem like it, but there was something in their eyes when they looked at each other. Something he couldn’t quite say. Was it rivalry?

No, that’s not it.

Atsumu thinks he knows because the look was almost the same was the looks his brother and Suna gave each other when they were still in their pining stage. He ignores it, though. 

It isn’t a big deal. He’ll get his chance eventually.

  
  
  


After highschool, Atsumu was invited to Osaka to play for MSBY Black Jackals. He was ecstatic to be wanted by a division 1 team. It really was an honor, even if he wasn’t able to play as first string setter at the start. He’ll just work for the position. He’ll work on his sets, his receives, his serves. He’ll work hard because desired results require _effort._

Something Kiyoomi told him.

He made sure to keep in touch with him. They were best friends after all. Atsumu held their friendship close to his heart, it was precious to him. He hoped Kiyoomi felt the same way. Heck, Kiyoomi promised that he’ll spike his sets again soon. _They_ made a promise together.

Their friendship never faltered. Sometimes, if their schedule allowed it, one of them would take the train to the other so they could hang out and spend time with each other.

It was great. It was amazing even. 

Although, Atsumu did notice that Kiyoomi looked… _sad_ or looked like something was bothering him _._ Was it something that he said? Maybe it was something that had to do with college? He didn’t know and Kiyoomi wouldn’t tell him, but he respected his need for space and privacy.

So, he just tried his best to make him happy. He made him smile and laugh, but the sadness in his eyes never left.

_Huh,_ he wondered. 

  
  
  


Kiyoomi decided to keep his feelings buried deep within him, not wanting to risk the valued and precious friendship he has with Atsumu. 

He supported him no matter what, and despite him being busy with college, he would still make as much time as he could for the blonde.

So he let himself watch from afar, watch him as he gave his love to someone else that’s not him. He would encourage him even when his heart felt like breaking. Whenever they hung out, he would try his best to act fine, blame college to explain why he is the way he is.

Yes, he did have sleepless nights. 

No, it wasn’t because of college.

Yes, it was because of his aching heart beating for Atsumu.

No, he will not leave him no matter how bad it hurts.

Atsumu was really the only one he had, besides Motoya. He can’t lose him just because of stupid feelings. If being with Atsumu means feigning ignorance towards his growing feelings, then so be it. All he can do is just try and bury it deeper.

  
  
  


By Kiyoomi’s last year of college, he had gotten much busier than any other year. He was graduating and will be receiving his degree, so Atsumu let him be. He let Kiyoomi focus on college first, opting to focus on volleyball as well.

What he didn’t tell Kiyoomi, though, was the fact that he had started getting in contact with Hinata. He decided it wasn’t necessary for the other to know right away anyways, plus, Atsumu wanted to let Kiyoomi focus.

So, while they were away from each other, not having the time to hang out as often as before, they drifted a bit. Kiyoomi didn’t like this. Whenever he messaged Atsumu about hanging out, the blonde would always say things like _“Focus on college first, Omi!”_ or _“I don’t wanna bother ya!”_

To be honest, it frustrated Kiyoomi. However, he knew Atsumu had a good heart and only had good intentions. He wasn’t being avoided, nothing bad happened for that to happen. Moreover, he trusted that Atsumu would tell him if there was anything important and all. He just wished his best friend wouldn’t brush him off so much even if college this year has been exhausting.

  
  
  


Months pass and Kiyoomi is finally graduating. A week before, he had received an invite to play and try out for many professional teams, especially after winning MVP in collegiate volleyball. He could’ve gotten to any team such as Falcons and Adlers, yet he decided to keep his promise to Atsumu and play for MSBY. The promise that Atsumu would set to him again one day, that they’ll play together by each other’s side.

He decided he wanted to surprise Atsumu, so he hid the fact that he was going to try out for MSBY. The setter had been busy preparing for the upcoming volleyball season while Kiyoomi had been busy trying to finish college that they haven’t actually talked properly in a while.

Kiyoomi was excited to say the least. He was _finally_ going to be playing with Atsumu. He gets to see his best friend again _and_ they’d get to hang out more as teammates, right?

When the day of tryouts came, he was in a good mood. It felt like nothing could bring him down. The last messages between him and Atsumu was just a short check up on each other a few days ago. Atsumu would surely be shocked to see him walk into those gym doors.

He spent the last week moving into a new apartment in Osaka, just a nice building that’s only 15 minutes away from the gym MSBY uses. He got ready and packed his gym bag, then made his way to his car. He drove to the gym and now he stands right outside of the gym doors.

The raven takes a deep breath and then opens the door, hoping to see a familiar mop of blonde hair. 

When he went through the doors, he was the one who was shocked. Because there in the hallway is Atsumu… hugging another person who Kiyoomi knows clearly.

How could he not? It’s the man Atsumu _wants._

Hinata Shoyo.

Ah. Well.

When did this happen?

Why?

How?

As he stares at the two, he feels his heart racing, but there’s an ache there. Watching them, it _hurts._

He wants to just shout and say, “I’m here, Atsu!” However, he doesn’t want to ruin their moment. So, he stands there, willing himself not to cry as he feels his heart shatter.

To rub salt on the wound, he watches the setter leave a chaste kiss on the smaller man’s head. _Fuck this hurts._

And that was that, that was how he found out that his best friend, his crush, had already found happiness and solace in someone else that isn't him. No matter how much he wishes for Atsumu to be his, _it won’t happen._

He rushes to the locker room, careful not to disturb the other two who were at the end of the hallway. Kiyoomi is in the locker room before Atsumu even turns his head to see that he was there. He drops his bag and himself onto the bench. He curls into himself, head in hands and wills himself not to have a breakdown right before he has to try out.

Kiyoomi drags himself to the sink area to wash his face, washing away the broken look on his face. He lifts his head up to look at himself in the mirror and brings a hand to face, wondering what Hinata has that he doesn’t.

He has so many questions, too many questions. He doesn’t even know if he wants his questions answered, scared it would only pain him to know. Kiyoomi stares at his reflection and can only see a man that is meant to be alone. _A man that isn’t meant to be loved._

_Why him, Tsumu?_

_Why not me?_

Then suddenly, a cough bursts through his throat. He coughs and coughs, grabbing onto the counter to support himself and to prevent himself from collapsing. He feels something stuck in his throat, trying to make its way out of his mouth. The raven desperately claws at his throat, trying to get whatever is in his throat out of it.

And when he finally comes to, he widens his eyes in shock, _in fear._

Because there on his hand is a petal— _a daffodil petal._

He clenches his fist, crushing the petal with it. He presses his forehead against the cold counter of the sink, dropping down onto his knees. _He really should’ve seen this coming._

Kiyoomi laughs bitterly at himself, taking another look at the daffodil petal. “How fitting.” He says to no one in particular, banging his forehead against the cold counter once.

He takes a moment to breathe and collect his thoughts to compose himself before standing back up. He throws the petal into the trash bin and gives himself one last look at the mirror to make sure he doesn’t look _that_ messed up, at least not enough to bring concern.

Once he deems himself ready and has changed into training clothes, he walks towards the door and grips onto the handle. Kiyoomi looks at the trash bin and sees the small daffodil petal laying there. He sighs and looks forward again, opening the door to make his way into the gym.

Kiyoomi waits just before the doors, taking another deep breath, just to steady himself once more. He has a tryout to ace, he needs to remove all thoughts of Atsumu and focus on volleyball. After all, volleyball came before Atsumu.

He opens his eyes and walks inside the gym with his usual neutral, stoic face.

Kiyoomi meets eyes with Atsumu and sees the blonde’s eyes widen just a bit. He gives a tiny smile before looking to greet the coach. Coach Foster smiles at him and gestures him to stand in front of the team before introducing him.

“All right everyone, pay attention. Now that you’ve all met Hinata, here’s the other player I’m hoping to have on the team. Everyone meet Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

He gives a small bow before speaking, “Sakusa Kiyoomi, pleasure to meet you all.”

If there’s an itch in his throat with a petal trying to make its way out— _no one has to know._

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter [@tsumega](https://twitter.com/tsumega)  
> follow me on instagram [@rinsmiya](https://www.instagram.com/rinsmiya/)  
> invade my curiouscat if ya want [samugiiri](https://curiouscat.qa/samugiiri)


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